french bulldog – Shiny Happy*People

One year. Two years. Two milestones in the same week. And who would have remembered if not for the algorithms of Facebook pushing memories back into the present? 2 years ago I became a single mama and just 1 year ago I received the devastating news of Peanut’s cancer diagnosis. Eek. June has had a bad track record in recent years. But it’s not all bad news. Within the last year I also realized my lifelong dream of becoming a homeowner. See – there’s so much to share and catch up on, but let’s begin with Peanut.

One year ago I shared about Peanut’s health diagnosis. That same day, through the tears, I wrote what would become a bucket list of activities that would carry us through the summer. And what an incredible summer it was. Peanut’s twilight months were filled with adventures, pup cups, cruises, barbecues, and extra snuggles with the people he loved.

Peanut was my first dog and my canine soul mate. Adopted from a local shelter in 2008 he stole my heart with his larger than life personality and supersized ears that matched. He became my study buddy after taking the leap to go back to school to finish my degree. He was my companion as I navigated the waters of launching my own indie business. He stood beside me as I sorted out my career path. Peanut’s slew of health problems and training needs built the foundations I’d need to transition into the field of animal welfare where I found my life’s calling. Peanut taught me how to be bold, compassionate, and ever so patient. He was my little shadow and one of my best friends.

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After receiving the diagnosis I was committed to celebrating our remaining time together. I thought that the months ahead would prepare me for his departure, but they didn’t. Peanut’s condition declined in late September and though his spirit remained intact, his body was slipping. Our pain management plan was no longer effective, he was completely incontinent, and though he still enjoyed walks and snuggles, the pain attacks that would hit were growing more frequent and intensifying. I couldn’t watch as he suffered but couldn’t manage the timing of making “the call.”

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Owning a pet is one of life’s greatest joys. The snuggles, the licks, the late-night chats, the antics, and of course, the unconditional love. Our pets provide affection unlike any other. Their devotion is untainted by our mistakes, short-comings, or blundering. For that very reason the prospect of losing that bond is heartbreaking. I’m prepping myself for that loss now.

Peanut has been a part of my life since June 2, 2008 when I adopted him from PAWS Chicago. He had been transferred in from Chicago’s Animal Care & Control, where he had arrived as a stray, emaciated, and with cherry eye in both peepers. PAWS transferred him in, got him neutered, fixed his third eyelids, and popped him onto the adoption floor. I came in the very next day, saw his pitiful little face and the blazing spirit lying under the surface. I fell in love instantly. I brought him home that same day and my life was forever changed.

We’ve spent the last 9 glorious years together. The first two it was just him, my hubby, and the cat. We’d spend hours on the lakefront, just relaxing, reading and strolling. In 2011 we adopted his best friend, Butter, from The Anti-Cruelty Society and the two have been inseparable since. Years later we also adopted a bunny so had quite the motley crew at home. Over the decade he’s tolerated many house guests, including rescued wildlife, street kittens in heat, and countless of fostered shelter dogs and cats. And the biggest adventure of all came in 2015: the new human. He took even that in stride.

Deeply opinionated, always energized, communicative, and prone to mischief, Peanut provided the daily spice of life that always kept us on our toes. He’s now 11 years old and the fire hasn’t dissipated one bit.

Despite his continued zest for life, Peanut has not been feeling well. After many weeks of testing, it was confirmed last week that my sweet senior has prostate cancer. It’s rare in dogs, very aggressive, and there’s no effective treatment. Radiation can extend his life span by a touch, but the stress of the process would negatively impact his quality of life. So the plan is to provide veterinary support in keeping him comfortable for as long as possible. It could be weeks or a months. My vet will be giving me a tighter timeline in the next few days.

I’m saddened by the news in many ways, but am deliberately choosing not to dwell in my despair. Instead, I plan to celebrate each day that we have together. I want to celebrate his fiery spirit so he can go out in true Peanut fashion: With a bang.

So here it is – Peanut’s go-out-in-glory bucket list. It includes some over-the-top adventures as well as more subdued routines that I know will make him smile. My hope is that focusing in on these fun-filled tasks will prevent the sadness from taking hold of our limited time together.